Co-written with David Reeves.
Several GOP presidential candidates have made competing claims to the Reagan mantle this election season. So in order to determine once and for all which candidates truly honor the Gipper’s legacy, we are submitting the following questionnaire to the remaining Republican presidential nominee contenders. (Except for you, Mitt– you were disqualified in 1994.)
All other candidates, please return immediately to WhoIsTheReaganest@aol.com.
1. Reagan nearly tripled the federal budget deficit. Describe how this is Barack Obama’s fault.
2. If a train leaves St. Louis for New York at 12:07pm traveling 74 mph, and another leaves Hartford for Charlotte at 4:40pm traveling 87 mph, how much would you slash Food Stamps?
3. Now that Reaganomics has been discredited by economists, how would you rebrand the exact same doctrine to sell it to the American “people” (non-corporate persons)?
A) The Golden Trickle B) Los Reaganomicos – El Sabor de la Libertad C) Unchain the Job Creators D) ReaganMnemonics
4. Have you ever had a non-sexual dream about President Reagan?
5. Do you like jelly beans?
6. Complete the following quotation: “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this _______!”
A) Ruby Tuesday’s B) Planned Parenthood Clinic C) Wall D) Housing project
7. Are you or have you ever been an African-American woman using welfare to purchase a luxury sedan? C’mon, you can tell us…
8. Draw a picture of Reagan as a caped superhero.
9. If elected President, would you use the power of the Bully Pulpit to pressure Netflix to transition Reagan’s blockbuster Bedtime for Bonzo from DVD-only to Watch Instantly?
10. You’d never illegally sell arms to Iran, right? (wink wink)
This piece was originally posted on AlterNet.