Wingnut Week In Review: Making Lemons Out Of ‘Lemonade’

Terrance Heath

Nobody but nobody drops an album like Beyoncé. The lady single-handedly changed the game on how albums are released, and showed herself to be a savvy marketer.

This week, after dropping multiple hints, Beyoncé finally dropped her latest, a 13-track collection called “Lemonade,” a deeply personal and boldly political meditation on infidelity, race and sexism that dares to embrace both anger and forgiveness.

“Lemonade” is also a love letter to black women. In the hourlong HBO special and “video album,” the camera lingers on the faces of countless black women as Beyoncé gives voice to her own experience as a black woman, while honoring and validating those of others.

That all proved more than enough for wingnuts to exhibit the kind of derangement only First Lady Michelle Obama and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton previously inspired.

None went nearly as crazy as conspiracy theorist Alex Jones. Somebody obviously slipped something in his lemonade:

Jones claimed that “Lemonade” is part of a CIA plot to inspire “urban terrorism” to ensure that “young people go out and act like maniacs and try to start a race war in this country.”
● Not done, Jones denounced Beyoncé as a “psychopath” whose music is “designed to absolutely ruin [children’s] lives on purpose,” all because his daughter comes home singing Beyoncé’s songs.
● Bravely stepping up to tell black folks what’s good for them, Jones begged black parents to “stop killing your kids and get them in church, whatever, take them away from Beyoncé, who wants to eat their brain with the CIA, literally.” The CIA? Is that a new brand of hot sauce?
Larry Tomczak (who?) declared “Lemonade” “scandalous,” an “outrage,” and “idolatry,” before moving on to do a “holy dance” on the graves of both David Bowie and Prince.
● Fresh from failing to make it on American television, Piers Morgan longed for the old Beyoncé and claimed, “The new Beyoncé wants to be seen as a black woman political activist first and foremost, entertainer and musician second.” Never mind that Bey hasn’t exactly been apolitical with her support for Barack Obama’s campaigns, and work on gun reform and police brutality. Twitter took care of him, tho’.

Fortunately, we have Stephen Colbert to white-mansplain it all.

Meanwhile, Beyoncé is selling “Boycott Beyoncé” merchandise at her concert. Making lemons into lemonade, natch.

Here’s the rest of the best of the worst in wingnuttery this week:

● Former House Speaker John Boehner is a bitter, bitter man – and it’s glorious. Boehner recently shared his thoughts on Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas), calling Cruz “Lucifer in the flesh,” and “a miserable son of a bitch.”
● Fox News hosted “climate expert” Marc Morano to explain how a stuffed armadillo proved “there’s nothing to worry about global warming.”
North Carolina state Republican Senator Buck Newton is running for state attorney general, with a great campaign slogan: “Keep our state straight.” All that’s missing are the white sheets.
● This Family Dollar cashier ranting and raving about how refusing to serve LGBT customers is a fine example of what laws like the ones in Mississippi and North Carolina are designed to protect.
Bryan Fischer said that Target’s policy of letting transgender persons use the bathrooms appropriate to their gender identity would turn the story into a motel for “rebellious teenagers.”
Meanwhile GOP presidential candidate Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) told a reporter he basically doesn’t want any transgender person using any public restroom anywhere.
Caitlyn Jenner may once have declared her support for Cruz, but that didn’t stop her from trolling Cruz by stopping at Trump Tower to use the ladies’ room. “By the way Ted,” she quipped, “nobody got molested.”
● Jenner might want to avoid Oxford, Alabama. The town recently passed a law punishing individuals for using public restrooms that do not match the biological gender on their birth certificates. Each offense is a $500 fine and up to six months in jail.
Meanwhile, Tennessee’s governor signed a bill allowing therapists to deny service to LGBT people.
● Oklahoma is becoming one of the worst states for women in America. First, the state assembly found an absurd new way to ban all abortions. Then an Oklahoma court ruled that forced oral sex is not rape if the victim is passed out drunk.
● Fox News host Greg Gutfeld said that you might be the real bigot if you’re thinking of moving to Canada if Donald Trump wins the presidential election.
Maine’s Republican Governor Paul LePage told The Associated Press that Indian workers are the “hardest” and “the worst ones” to understand, but then made it all better when he added that they’re all “lovely people but you’ve got to have an interpreter.”
LePage later stomped out of an open meeting at the University of Maine when he was confronted by students holding signs critical of him and his policies, but not before calling them “idiots.”
Newtown conspiracy theorist Dr. James Tracy is suing Florida Atlantic University for firing him for failing to submit forms documenting the work he did outside of the University.
● Ben Carson called putting Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill a “cheap trick” to convince black people to support “a nearly bankrupt symbol of American debt.” I bet he says that every time he cashes an infomercial check.
● In a WorldNet Daily column, Don Feder objected to putting Tubman on the $20 bill, because “American history was made by white males.”

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