Jeb Bush says his campaign is not on life support, and he’s right. It’s long past that point. Bush’s campaign is more like “the walking dead”; lifeless, but lumbering along just this side of the grave.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. When former Florida governor Jeb Bush launched his campaign for president, a lot of people assumed that other candidates might make a splash here and there during the primaries, but eventually the GOP would get serious and give Bush the nod. After all, he had the family name, and he had the money, and the ability to raise a good deal more. Jeb Bush was the man to beat for the Republican nomination?

Fast-forward to today. Donald Trump and Ben Carson are dueling front-runners. Meanwhile, the student surpassed the teacher, when Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) bested Bush in the last GOP presidential debate. So, what happened?

Bush ran a slow-moving, sluggish campaign, incoherent campaign, that truly went on life support weeks ago.

• Bush fell for Donald Trump’s bait, defended big brother George W. Bush’s charges that he was partly to blame for the September 11 attacks, and never quire recovered.
• Bush creeped voters out during a Las Vegas campaign stop, when he was asked who his favorite Marvel super hero is, and answered that he liked the new “Supergirl” TV show, because “she looked pretty hot.” (Hello?! Did no one on Bush’s communication team foresee this question, and tell him that the only acceptable answer for his is Captain America?)
• This week, Bush told a South Carolina audience that he’s got better things to do than be president anyway: “I’ve got a lot of really cool things I could do other than sit around being miserable, listening to people demonize me and me feeling compelled to demonize them. That is a joke. Elect Trump if you want that.”
• Maybe Bush was feeling the strain of cutbacks in his formerly flush campaign. Bush had to ditch the private jets and start flying commercial, after a dip in his poll numbers resulted in a dip in campaign donations. The high life was over.
• Then, at a campaign stop in Houston, Bush dubbed GOP rival Rubio the “GOP Obama.” Y’know, the guy who won the White House — twice.
• At the third GOP presidential debate, Bush called for government regulation of fantasy football. (What? Not Wall Street?) It fell to New Jersey governor Chris Christie to tell him there might be more important issues.
• In trying to assail Rubio’s work ethic, Bush mocked the Senate’s three-day “French workweek”. Rubio stomped him.
• Bush owes President Obama a “warm kiss.” During the third GOP presidential debate, Bush said “You find a Democrat that’s for cutting taxes, cutting spending $10, I’ll give him a warm kiss.” Well, he should break out the lip balm and pucker up, because spending has dropped under Obama, and is on track to reach its lowest level in 50 years.

To make matters worse, French ambassador to the US Gérard Araud mocked Bush right back on Twitter.

The French work an average of 39,6 hours a week compared to 39,2 for the Germans. https://t.co/22yUVpQbq7

— Gérard Araud (@GerardAraud) October 29, 2015

In any country, electoral campaigns offer the opportunity for a lot of bombastic nonsense. Let’s be indulgent. https://t.co/fRyjoYYYjn

— Gérard Araud (@GerardAraud) October 29, 2015

A French work week of 3 days? No but a pregnancy paid leave of 16 weeks yes! And proud of it.

— Gérard Araud (@GerardAraud) October 29, 2015

Mocked by a Frenchman. For a GOP presidential candidate, it doesn’t get much worse than that. Or does it?

The French are throwing shade at Jeb Bush after his remarks during the last #GOPDebate: https://t.co/iy7TBjBx0E

— AJ+ (@ajplus) October 30, 2015

Get your warm kisses! #GOPDebate pic.twitter.com/jCERlcuuAA

— Huffington Post (@HuffingtonPost) October 29, 2015

Throw Christie From the Train?

New Jersey governor Chris Christie was ejected from the quiet car on the 9:55 Amtrak from DC to New York on Sunday morning. Arriving late and almost missing the train, Christie boarded and immediately started yelling at his secret service agents over a seating mix-up.

When he finally sat down, Christie starting making phone calls. On. The. Quiet. Car.

This went on for 10 minutes before Christie was asked to stop or go to another car. Christie finally got up and walked out, again yelling at his secret service detail, and all white sipping a McDonald’s strawberry smoothie. Very presidential. (Not.)

Here’s the best of the rest of the worst in wingnuttery this week:

• House Benghazi committee chair Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-S.C.) whined that Hillary Clinton didn’t do the committee’s work for, because never said “what she was taking responsibility for.”
• However, Gowdy is right that it would have been better for Republicans to question Clinton in private, without the cameras in the room.
• Gotta impeach somebody. Since the Department of Justice declined to bring criminal charges against former IRS official Lois Lerner, Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah).
• Ben Carson compared something to slavery again. This time Carson said rape victims who have abortions are like slave owners who tortured slaves.
• Oops. In this week’s GOP debate, Carson denied any relationship with the shady supplement company Mannatech. So why did he give four paid speeches at Mannatech gatherings, and film a promotional video for the company?
• Why did Fox News, the all-Benghazi-all-the-time network, cut away from Hillary Clinton’s Benghazi hearing? CNN’s Brian Stelter thinks he knows why: “I think number one, Fox always tends to cut out of news and go to regularly scheduled programs because they rate really well. But number two, if Clinton had been on the ropes, if she had been struggling, Fox probably would have continued to show the hearing, don’t you think?”
• Why did Fox News turn to a panel of men to decide whether it’s appropriate for women to wear leggings? No, really? Why?
• Fox News “psychology expert” and former star of ABC’s “Wife Swap” Gina Loudon claimed that only “science deniers” believe sex reassignment surgery works for transgender people. Apparently, gender identity is the new climate change?
• Fox News anchor Dana Perino thinks the link between bacon and cancer is part of a climate change “conspiracy.”
• Fox News host Bill O’Reilly sent “reporter” Jesse Waters to a university campus to root out liberal indoctrination, and Waters got kicked off campus for creepily hitting on co-eds.
• Oregon copywriter Mary Numair took down Planned Parenthood in a fabulously funny way.
• Oops. Hobby Lobby’s upstanding Christian owners are under federal investigation for allegedly importing stolen artifacts for the Museum of the Bible. Let’s hope one of them is the original stone tablet bearing the commandment “Thou shalt not steal.”
• Pat Robertson told a “700 Club” viewer that the same-sex marriage is still illegal, because the Supreme Court’s Obergefell ruling only applied to the “couple of people” directly involved in the case. Pat should stick to … well … anything but interpreting the Constitution, because the Obergefell decision was pretty much dust-binned bans on same-sex marriage nationwide.
• Robertson issued his usual warning against Halloween, warning that all those trick-or-treaters are unwittingly “celebrating Satan.”
• Football coach Joe Kennedy insists on praying at school, saying that he’s exercising his right to freedom of religion. So, a student at Bremerton High School in Washington invited th elude Satanic Temple to deliver an invocation after the coach Kennedy’s prayer.