ExxonMobil I Think Its Time For You To Make It On Your Own

Bill Scher

Before ExxonMobil announced a 69% jump in their profits today, the oil giant’s top lobbyist launched an attack on Democrats who have long proposed ending subsidies to Big Oil and instead invest in clean energy. Politico reported:

“Over the last week as earnings season has approached, the Democratic Party leadership again talked about removing what they call $4 billion in oil industry subsidies,” Cohen said. “But what they really mean is that they want to increase our taxes by taking away long-standing deductions for our industry while leaving these same deductions in place for other sectors of the economy.”

Um, yeah.

ExxonMobil, this may be hard for you and your Big Oil friends to accept. But you’re all grown up now!

You make tens of billions of dollars every year. You are one the biggest companies in the world.

You don’t need a weekly allowance anymore. You certainly don’t need a trust fund. You can go out a make a profit all on your own.

Meanwhile, there are other growing industries that we taxpayers would like to help get on their feet — like solar and wind and geothermal — so they can grow up to be as big and strong as you.

We know it can be hard to leave the house. But it’s not just the Democratic daddies saying it’s time to go. Sometimes, in an unguarded moment, even a Republican mommy will admit that it’s time for you to go.

Leaving home can be a little sad. But we have lots of photos to help cherish the memories of younger days.

And always remember, we are so proud of you!

But like any other adult, just because you’re out of the house now doesn’t mean you can go break the law whenever you feel like it…

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