Applying Mitt-o-nomics To The Citigroup Bailout

As we all know, Mitt Romney is the smartest and greatest businessman that ever graced our land. For some reason, I haven't heard him weigh in on the bailout of Citigroup. But since he already offered a plan for dealing with the struggling auto companies [1], I imagine we can simply apply the same principles [1] for dealing with General Motors as we do for Citigroup.

Mitt says: [1] We need "new labor agreements to align pay and benefits to match those of workers at competitors."

Citigroup's average salary is $87,000, [2] much more than its competitors JPMorgan Chase ($66,000) [3], Wells Fargo ($56,000) [4] and Bank of America ($43,000). [5]

Citigroup's average salary also is more than the average salary of a GM assembly-line worker ($28/hour, or $58,240 for a full year of work.) [6]

Clearly, those Citigroup contracts need to be re-worked if the firm is going to be viable.

Mitt says: [1] "You don’t have to look far for industries with unions that went down that road. Companies in the 21st century cannot perpetuate the destructive labor relations of the 20th."

Obviously, Citigroup must have kept secret its unionized workforce. Otherwise, how could it be suffering from such outrageous labor costs! These insidious underground unions must be rooted out and destroyed.

Mitt says: [1] "management as is must go."

Citigroup's management failures [7] have been well documented. It would be craaazy [8] to give taxpayer money to same people that got Citigroup -- and the entire global financial system -- into this mess.

Mitt says: [1] "It is not wrong to ask for government help, but the automakers should come up with a win-win proposition."

Just as management has to go, so does the deregulated marketplace that allowed Citigroup management to act so irresponsibly. Surely, no bailout would occur without major strings attached [9] and new rules to ensure the same mistakes won't be repeated.

Fortunately, the same pressure that has been put on the auto industry has been put to bear on the financial industry, ensuring sound judgment, fairness and accountability still reigns in Washington.

Thank you Mitt-o-nomics! Now go shopping.