Wingnut Week In Review: Valentine’s Day Edition

Terrance Heath
Wingnut Week In Review: Valentine’s Day Edition

It’s Valentine’s Day, but there’s not a lot of love on the right, even for some of their own. There’s no love even for millions of schoolchildren, who will get valentines from their classmates today.

At the beginning of the week, our sons came home with lists of all the children in their classes, and an assignment: address a valentine to everyone on those lists. They worked on them all week, until every child in their classes had a valentine with his or her name on it.

The completed valentines now sit on the kitchen counter, waiting to be delivered (on the next school day that isn’t also a snow day). But according to Fox News guest Elizabeth Esther, we didn’t do it right — because we made valentines for every kid in the class.

First of all, it’s not “one New Jersey teacher.” It’s every teacher in our school district, and then some. In fact, I’m pretty sure we gave valentines to everyone in the class when I was in school. It falls under the “If You Didn’t Bring Enough For Everyone” rule.

The two Elizabeths (Esther and Hasselbeck) needn’t worry. Kids will still experience all the heartlessness and cruelty the world has to offer. They won’t have to wait until adulthood. It’s called middle school.

By the time kids finish high school, whatever they learned about kindness and empathy since kindergarten will have been beaten out of them. With their innocence in tatters, and their spirits sufficiently broken, they will be more than prepared for the “real world.”

That’s not all, of course. Here’s the rest of the worst in wingnuttia this week:

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLV1nLI6ql05yg3bIIVmx7q8lgn-F3DBCX

Comments