The Green Cheese Campaign, Or Say What You Need To Say To Get In The Door

Dave Johnson

The Republican Party seems to have become a party of “say what you need to say to get in the door.” And what happens when they do get in that door?

The Green Cheese Campaign

“Obama is mining green cheese on the moon and putting it in school lunch milk.”

The things that Republicans are saying appears to have less to do with anything going on in the real world and more and more to do with tricking people than during any previous campaign. It seems to have become almost entirely a game of just saying what you think needs to be said to sell that used car get that vote. It’s about what you need to say that day, that hour, that half of the sentence, to sell that used car get that vote.

Green Cheese: If their campaign consultants did their polls and focus groups and asked people what it would take for them to buy the car to get their vote, and 51% of the people they talked to said if they learned that Obama was mining green cheese from the moon and putting it into the milk schools give to kids, hearing that would make them vote against Obama — then the next day:

- the Drudge Report would have a huge headline “OBAMA MINING GREEN CHEESE FROM MOON AND PUTTING IT IN KIDS’ MILK,”

- and FOX News would run hours upon hours of commentators talking about the scandal of OBAMA MINING GREEN CHEESE,

- and all the right-wing blogs would be whipping up “the base’ about the GREEN CHEESE SCANDAL,

- and then Rush and all of talk radio would start blasting out about the OBAMA GREEN CHEESE IN MILK scandal.

- The Heritage Foundation would have a “study” ready, “linking” Democratic donors to the green cheese mining contracts.

- Republicans in Congress would hold hearings “looking into Obama’s green cheese mining.”

- Online newspaper comment sections and online forums and every astroturfable outlet would be screaming about the OBAMA POISONING KIDS with help from Karl Marx and Van Jones, using secret ACORN resources.

- CNN would start “reporting” on it it, with actual photos of Obama cheese-mining craft heading to the moon…

- And after a few weeks of that NBC and CBS and ABC and the Washington Post would be reporting on how the “Obama Cheese Scandal” — officially a “truth” now, with no refutation from any “news” source –was affecting Obama’s poll numbers.

What They ARE Saying (today)

Things Republicans are saying, to sell that used car get that vote include:

Obama raised taxes on the middle class. (Obama cut taxes on the middle class.)

Obama cut Medicare to pay for Obamacare. (No cuts in benefits, actually Obamacare increases benefits. Romney/Ryan plan to cut Medicare, period.)

Obama gutted the work requirements in welfare. (In fact they increased them.)

Obama, making the case for government, said “you didn’t build” the roads and bridges that enable businesses.

Etc…

In what was possibly the biggest lie of his convention speech (if it is possible to choose just one) Mitt Romney actually said that Republicans rallied around the President after the election! In fact Republicans vowed to block every single thing the President tried to do to help get us out of the mess the Republican administration he was replacing left behind. And that mess is the problem — Republicans say what they need to say to get into office, but once in office they follow the same-old-same-old plan.

Once the conventions are over the real “campaign” begins. That is when we will see the effect of the billionaire/corporate money kick in. We ain’t seen nothing yet.

Once In The Door?

Conservative leader Grover Norquist sums it up. Speaking at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in DC this last February, Norquist said of Romney, “We want the Ryan budget. … We just need a president to sign this stuff.”

All we have to do is replace Obama. … We are not auditioning for fearless leader. We don’t need a president to tell us in what direction to go. We know what direction to go. We want the Ryan budget. … We just need a president to sign this stuff. We don’t need someone to think it up or design it. The leadership now for the modern conservative movement for the next 20 years will be coming out of the House and the Senate.

And what is that agenda for once they get in the door? Digby writes about that in The Plan, describing Romney’s nomination-acceptance speech,

So, they are going to create jobs by opening up drilling, privatizing schools, off-shoring business, slashing government, cutting taxes and cutting regulations.

In other words, the same exact agenda they always have. Well except for the war-as-stimulus he might have to start. Other than that, the GOP agenda remains what it always is — good for whatever ails you, no matter what.

This is September. It is a long way till November and the election. Sheesh.

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