Whoever said “failure is not an option”* hasn’t met the visionaries of the American Petroleum Institute — aka, the lobbyists for Big Oil.
Big Oil’s chief economist John Felmy spoke on a CPAC energy panel … and let’s take a moment to reflect on that:
The biggest conservative movement event of the year features a presentation by Big Oil.
Now that you’re properly disgusted (or, just unsurprised), here is a Cliff Notes version of Felmy’s address:
Waaah! Why do they say oil company profits are so huge? We’re barely scraping by! Feeble senior citizens own oil company stock. More renewable energy means more homeless senior citizens. Jimmy Carter wanted renewable energy, so obviously it can’t work. Why won’t they let us drill every open spot in the US? It’s so unfair! Waaah!
But let’s be fair to Big Oil and not put words in Felmy’s mouth. Here is a direct, verbatim quote: “energy independence is not a possible option”.
Another great conservative message that will resonate with the American voter.
We heard from business execs, labor leaders, environmental advocates and community organizers, all showing how we can dramatically reduce our dependence, create good jobs and strengthen our economy.
We did not hear from Big Oil. And apparently, we didn’t miss anything.
*(For the record, “failure is not an option” was made-up dialogue for “Apollo 13″)
For more, check out our Conservative Failure page